Starvation

Not many people understand what things are like for us who trudge through infertility. What people do understand is food. People understand what its like to be hungry. Although it is like comparing a candle to a forest fire, hopefully a concept is conveyed.

I am hungry, I want to eat. I have been hungry for the last 4 years – after 4 years you are no longer hungry, but starving.

People all around me have beautiful plates of food. They are feasting while I am starving.

I am generally grateful that my friends and family are not starving along with me, but I do envy their meals. Watching them eat, makes me more hungry.

It makes me sad when people do not realize how blessed they are that they have delicious plates of food. They complain about the meal – its so much work, I got roast beef when I wanted chicken, I wasn’t ready to eat, its expensive, its messy….

I know people try to say anything to make things better but when you are starving you don’t want to hear – “you’re young, you have plenty of time to eat”, “if you just relax you’ll find food, or those hunger pains will go away”, “just think, without food you and your husband can spend more time together”, “my friend went hungry for 12 years before she got a meal”, “at least without food you won’t get fat”….

Again I know best intentions are at heart, but don’t tell me that I will eat eventually unless you have some specific plan that gets a plate of food into my hands.

Its pretty easy, all hungry women want is acknowledgement that they are hungry and that what they are going through is hard. Hearing the “benefits” of starvation doesn’t make hunger pains better, but sometimes this does – “that really sucks, I am so sorry that you’re hungry.”

Being hungry hurts. It gnaws at your heart, I mean stomach, everyday.

To all the amazing women out there who have been given a plate a food and realize what a priceless and beautiful blessing it is, but are not ready to eat, and share that plate of food with a starving woman – you are true heroes.

I’ll eat someday and I’m sure it will be amazing. Bon Apetite to all who have their meals. Enjoy them, love them, appreciate them, imagine how hungry you would be without them.