Friday, May 28, 2010

Polly Wanna "Barrett"


I believe one of the best ways to gauge the kind of words spoken in ones home is to have a parrot. A parrot that LOVES to repeat what he hears. Tarzan is just that, a parrot with an extensive vocabulary.

I took it as a good sign when one of his first noises he mimicked was laughter. We have plenty of that in our home. Come to think of it he also would do a monkey call, so...

Over the last year and a half he has sweetly cooed “oh hi”, “helloooo”, “how are you”, “I love you”, “whatcha doing”, “oh yum”, “see ya later”, and “come here”. But this episode of parrot parental bliss has ended.

His latest favorite (meaning he says it over and over and over and over again)is “Barrett”. While this seems innocent enough, it’s not. He doesn’t coo it like he does his other phrases. He sounds annoyed.

My poor Barrett is being scolded by the bird all day long.

Barrett is a special addition to our family, he is our middle child, and requires 10 time more attention than everyone else combined. He paces nervously, he hates laundry, can’t stand cell phones, has no concept of personal space, and loves to pant the worst dog breath ever right into your face. That doesn’t mean we don’t love him to pieces, we just MIGHT not be showing him the love he needs. This has been made evident by the fact that Tarzan has said “Barrett” about 500 times since I started writing this.

Oh Barrett, I’m so sorry, I hope Tarzan learns a new favorite soon.

P.S. Barrett, you're a lot bigger than he is... if you happen to take a wing off I wouldn't blame you.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The L&D Script


Welcome to Labor & Delivery, I’ll be your Nurse for the day.

Yep me, the one who’s kinda crazy thanks to a good 5 years of infertility

I have a pretty convincing “I’m a student nurse and couldn’t be happier to help you!” façade when I mutter the following lines:

Oh I see, you’re 19 and this is your 3rd? I’m sorry, that must be rough.

You already have two girls and you really wanted a boy this time but got stuck with another girl? Life isn’t fair, is it?

No, I don’t think its routine for the doctor to “tuck” up some of your “extra” tummy during your cesarean. I do know swimsuit season is right around the corner, and you’re right, it is a lousy time of year to have a baby.

You’re right, that was silly of me to think you would want to breastfeed when you can get free formula from WIC.

Yeah, kinda like house arrest I guess, it’s more an anti-theft device to make sure no one takes her from the hospital. No, I don’t know who would ever want to steal a baby.


This makes up for it though…

Yes, she really is beautiful.

I agree, you’re wife did an amazing job.

Yep, he has lots of curly hair. Nope, he’s perfectly healthy. Really, he is. I know, amazing, huh?

3 years is a long time trying to have a baby, congratulations!

You’re right, he does have your nose.

Do you want a pink or purple bow in her hair?

We’re going to give him his first bath and the birthmom wants you two in there.