Starvation

Not many people understand what things are like for us who trudge through infertility. What people do understand is food. People understand what its like to be hungry. Although it is like comparing a candle to a forest fire, hopefully a concept is conveyed.

I am hungry, I want to eat. I have been hungry for the last 4 years – after 4 years you are no longer hungry, but starving.

People all around me have beautiful plates of food. They are feasting while I am starving.

I am generally grateful that my friends and family are not starving along with me, but I do envy their meals. Watching them eat, makes me more hungry.

It makes me sad when people do not realize how blessed they are that they have delicious plates of food. They complain about the meal – its so much work, I got roast beef when I wanted chicken, I wasn’t ready to eat, its expensive, its messy….

I know people try to say anything to make things better but when you are starving you don’t want to hear – “you’re young, you have plenty of time to eat”, “if you just relax you’ll find food, or those hunger pains will go away”, “just think, without food you and your husband can spend more time together”, “my friend went hungry for 12 years before she got a meal”, “at least without food you won’t get fat”….

Again I know best intentions are at heart, but don’t tell me that I will eat eventually unless you have some specific plan that gets a plate of food into my hands.

Its pretty easy, all hungry women want is acknowledgement that they are hungry and that what they are going through is hard. Hearing the “benefits” of starvation doesn’t make hunger pains better, but sometimes this does – “that really sucks, I am so sorry that you’re hungry.”

Being hungry hurts. It gnaws at your heart, I mean stomach, everyday.

To all the amazing women out there who have been given a plate a food and realize what a priceless and beautiful blessing it is, but are not ready to eat, and share that plate of food with a starving woman – you are true heroes.

I’ll eat someday and I’m sure it will be amazing. Bon Apetite to all who have their meals. Enjoy them, love them, appreciate them, imagine how hungry you would be without them.

A Few of My Favorite Things

These are a few of my favorite things....

Hawaii (and my husband)

Tarzan - Our Eclectus parrot that makes me laugh out loud everyday




Barrett - He's a 100lb German Shepherd who is afraid of cell phones and laundry




Haylee - Sweet girl who would kill anyone who messes with her "Mom"




My Orchid - The first orchid that I haven't killed, it has survived over a year and is blooming again. One really tough plant!




A happy pile of retro quilt fabric




Joe Nichols - He's an amazing country singer too

Yes...I'm His Wife

All you bra burning feminist out there probably cringe at my blog name “His Wife”. Well put your bras back on and I’ll explain why.

First of all when I came up with the blog title I tried to find out what Noah’s wife was named and I had all intentions of using it. Through my searches I couldn’t find her name for the life of me, and being pretty horrific when it comes to bible history the name “His Wife” seemed the safest.

Becoming His Wife is probably the best thing that I have ever done. Being a wife to me has meant that I am partners with a person that is my best friend and love of my life. It means having love and support every day. When something great happens, I call my husband. When something horrible happens, I call my husband. My husband is an amazing (I use that word a lot to describe him, but it just seems to fit) man, and I couldn’t be more proud to be His Wife. It is a title that I am blessed with and am thankful for everyday.

Now just because I call myself His Wife, does not mean that I cannot stand alone. I have independent thoughts and opinions that often are a contrast to his. I have put myself through college and have a career. It takes a strong woman to be His Wife.

Being a paramedic is….

A lot of different things, but today we are going to focus on the pet peeves of the paramedic.

First of all when you see lights and sirens… pull to the RIGHT and STOP. This does not mean stop right where you are or pull the left and stop. This does not mean try to out run us so you can make your left turn. Don’t block our only way through the intersection either. Don’t panic we aren’t going to run into you (as long as you pull to the right and stop).

Just because you own a cell phone does not mean you need to be a “cell phone hero”. The most annoying calls we get are from “passer-bys”. Meaning people have no idea what is going on, they were driving down the road, saw something that may or may not be an emergency and called 911. Hey guess what, that fender bender you called 911 for – the people are usually gone by the time we get there. The “man down” you called for – that’s Bob, he is homeless, that is the bush he always sleeps under and he gets annoyed when we have to wake him up. Unless you are sure that there is an emergency (meaning someone’s life is in danger) please put your cell phone away.

We are called “paramedics”. We are not “ambulance drivers”, the “guys from the ambulance”, or any other version that does not sound like “paramedic”. Yes we drive an ambulance, but do you call police officers “police car drivers” or firefighters “fire truck drivers”, I didn’t think so. You also don’t call an ambulance, you call paramedics. Again would you say “quick call the police car”? We also hear “oh good the ambulance is here to take you to the hospital”. The ambulance itself is no more than a vehicle. It by itself will take you nowhere. The paramedics take you to the hospital in the ambulance. And finally the vehicle is called an “ambulance”. I have heard it called a wagon, buggy, van, truck, etc. It is an ambulance I am a paramedic.

We are here to provide a service, to help you in an emergency. A medical emergency is when you are sick or injured to the point your life is in immediate danger of ending. A few examples of medical emergencies are – uncontrollable bleeding, heart attacks, breathing difficulties, strokes, head injuries, major multi-system trauma. We are not here as a convenient ride to the hospital. If you have a fever, cough, cold, the flu, tummy ache, a sore toe, etc, we are not your people. If you can ride in a car to the hospital, then do so. If you are well enough to complain about how uncomfortable an ambulance ride is, you are not sick enough to need an ambulance. We will not get you seen any faster in the emergency room if you come with us. Most likely we will drop you off in the waiting room, then send a bill to you for paramedic services you didn’t need that your insurance won’t pay for.

Wow, that was a lot of ranting! I really love my job and the good things about it are an even longer list that someday I will get to.

Sew Crafty

In general my craftiness has been lacking. To remedy this I have decided that I am going to go out, buy a pattern, some super cute fabric, and sew. I have visions of my favorite little person (3 year-old niece) running around this summer in home made jumpers! Wish me (for her sake) luck!

Easter Inspirations

Thinking back today about sitting in church and what deep inspirational thought I can remember - all I can come up with is curtains...yes the curtains. You see these were cute curtains, I know, cute curtains in church…weird. But I have been inspired and wish I had more windows in my house to justify making copy cat church curtains.

I’m also thinking about my husband’s girlfriend. She goes by the name of Blackberry. He doesn’t go anywhere without her and she gets a lot of his attention, including while we are in church. I usually don’t mind so much having her around, but jeeze 3 hours of alone time with him every Sunday, is that too much to ask? I’m not sure why he so enamored with her. She doesn’t cook, clean, or do his laundry, and all she talks about is work. Whatever, I’m not jealous, she has to sit on the nightstand all night, I get the bed.

So here is my for real Easter thought: I was reminded today that our Savior suffered for all our sins and felt all our sorrows, so when I am in a bummer mood thinking “nobody knows how crappy I feel” I guess I’m not exactly right.

So here’s to Easter Sunday – to cute curtains, girlfriends, and a guy who knows exactly how you feel.

Building The Ark

I am The Wife, with my amazing husband “Noah”, we navigate The Ark. My mom introduced me to a blogger saint and I was inspired. I am trying my hand at blogging - not to inspire, entertain, or educate, but for myself, to document our journey on The Ark. I believe in journal keeping, but have my fair share of half filled journals with years of my life missing. I think this might be the key – hopefully it will be my 21st century journal. We’ll see how the Ark sails....

How did we become “The Ark” you ask? Well "Noah" and myself were heading off for a vacation and Noah’s mom was going to watch our gang - 2 German Shepherds, 2 Parakeets, and an Eclectus Parrot (nobody needs two parrots). As we were getting ready to leave our house, it started pouring rain and there you have it: Noah, The Wife, luggage and our entire gang in the cab of our truck. When we arrived at Noah’s moms house we got out of the truck – two by two safe and dry.

Now I know that my husband is not an ancient prophet, nor have we built a giant wooden boat, but we are religious. We have faith in a Heavenly Father, we have our faith tested, we try to do our best, and we hope to weather the storms.